Stylish with Substance

Onward you'll find good fun for women, men, and even TV geeks! Don't forget the photos get better, as this is a countdown...

Costumes, they are, but that doesn't make them ... right. Necessarily. On to the viewing - and fug - fun!

#12 - Miss France and her leaning "tour"

Here goes, with a swoosh, France being synonymous with "chic"

#11 - Miss USA would die kill for the cause

Which of our national treasure, the poor eagle, had to die?

#10 - Miss Lebanon, from fairy land

Lebanon is where princesses come from? *Books a flight*

#9 - Miss Great Britain, as if you couldn't tell

After Alexander McQueen's sad death, this was Miss Great Britain's best option.

#8 - Miss Venezuela. Hey, I didn't know Venezuela was in space. Oh, that's why it's called Miss "Universe"!

Lady GaGa called; she wants her haus back. Points off (seriously!) for being now-less-original.

(Fashion points for her matching shoes!)

#7 - Miss Kosovo, it's surprising she didn't win.

... What with her maenad powers and all. Scary.

#6 - Miss Australia ... is a scrolldown.

Or shall we say, "Miss Uggstralia"? Yes, those are Uggs. Heeled Uggs, to boot.

Seriously, though, is it hot and cold simultaneously there? Fur shoulders + Bare waist = Class-y.

Continue. It just gets better with the last five!

This *costume* has a serious case of identity crisis.

To quote the title of this monstrosity, "Complete Bearded Oysters Costume for Big Boobie-d Dancers".

Ella thinks it need be a lot less complete.

Oh, but that's not all -- apparently it's a thing. Like some inside clique-y thing. And there are coordinating panties. With pubic hair. On the panties. (And how a mannequin gets camel toe is an odd thing, but it's there, too.)

I feel bad every time I must (must) make fun of something handmade. Apologies to craftsperson, Miss Katrina. (As seen on Etsy.)

Note; this is in good fun, and I know this costume serves a special purpose to the designer and others, and hopefully this post will bring useful exposure.

What happens when we're a week away from Halloween and/or costume parties and our costume's arrived, but when we try it on, it's a trainwreck?

This happened to me. I wanted to be a ball of yarn. I got a red yarn wig. Check. Beautiful. And I had the "genius" idea of (somehow, still not sure how - eep lol) wrapping an inflatable pumpkin costume with red yarn to make me the skein.

Well, I'm petite, which might have caused a problem. For some reason, this adult's costume didn't inflate as desired. I was droopy ... AND fat. It wasn't taught enough to hold the yarn ball correctly. Going as the fat-bum pumpkin? Not an option, you hear me?

So I came up with another idea quick. But I had about 6 days to receive every little piece of it (AND embroider something on part of the outfit - eek) before the big party. (With prizes for creativity and such, natch.) Now all these different parts help give the full picture - but they may not all arrive in time. As long as one crucial piece - the bling (natch, he he) arrives, I can manage the rest with a drug store run. (I can surely know I'm saying good-bye to that years-long coveted prize, however.)

Has this happened to you? What do you do?

If anyone else is in a costume pickle ... write in the comments, let's help each other out.

My new costume, you ask? In honour of newly running my own household: A housewife. (A rich one, too.) The purchased item I need is my faux engagement ring and wedding band. (Alas alas, I'm plum out of my own.) And I ordered a plain pink sweatsuit that actually is in true danger of arriving (coming from one of those plain apparel wholesalers) - that's the item on which to be embroidered (on the tush: "wife") so it actually needs to come in plenty of time --- especially since I'll also need to hem the pants (petite, remember). Sigh.

Wish me luck! And I hope all your costumes rock. (Do share!)

This is a sponsored, 100% honest review of HalloweenExpress.com. Learn more about paid reviews at ReviewMe.com.

HalloweenExpress.com has a large variety of costumes for any occasion, plus wigs, makeup, props and some pet costumes. It doesn't, however, offer enough selection for everybody.

Their pet selection is tiny, and offers absolutely nothing for the fashionista doggie or cats at all. That's my major gripe, but the shop also is missing what I need for my own costume (I'm making mine out of an adult pumpkin costume, but I'm making it into something else!) - they're also missing my wig.

The plus sides of the stock are that there are more than the sexy costumes for women's, and they even have plus sizes. (Some actually photographed on plus models - wow.)

So all in all, many people, many years, may find just what they need here. It's probably more convenient than eBay or Amazon Marketplace. Sure, one finds anything there, but we have to deal with different sellers - so there's a big guessing game we risk. Besides - bonus! - Halloween Express offers a "no hassle" return policy. Sweet - ya can't get that with most individual sellers!

The good thing about Halloween Express is the express in the title is a part of the point. This established business cares about getting costumes to you in a timely manner. They have detailed information and tools to figure out when your shipment might arrive, but I didn't find it that easy to use. Ya just have to inspect it closely.

Still, you should always know not to put off your costume or costume supplies shopping, especially when done online (however I must note that online stores probably run out of stock later than your local party shops). Nothing is ever guaranteed from any supply once October arrives.

If you are able, hurry hurry, time is an issue -- get your costume secured (and/or possibly made?). Unfortunately, I am both moving and making my own costume. Eep! Certainly, when the orange and black season arrives, do keep HalloweenExpress.com in mind as an option - it's certainly a fair shop, and I doubt it will flake out on your order.

Glam featured Celebrities in Halloween Costumes, which should be a fun and interesting bit of entertainment, but instead the costumes are frightening in a moral and intellectual way, not by triggering reactions from ghoulish masks and makeup --- but, well, from the disgusting portrayal of flesh (sexy, not dead) by today's pop artists and socialites.

More photos below.

What is wrong with these girls?

It's not just these obviously tarty pop culture "pros" with this problem, it's society in general. If one searches the Internet for a woman's costume, mostly skanky skin and sexually-themed costumes will pop up.

Where does this issue originate? What do you think?