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Stylish with Substance

A woman should be two things; classy & fabulous - Mlle Gabrielle Chanel

What's In a Name? 'Schitbag' - Sweet or $h!t?

May 19, 2010

A friend of mine, the Evil Fashionisto, used to make a joke about my comments on "IT" bags. He said the opposites were s... bags.

Later on I decided to use our inside joke on this site as our own Fab vs. Fug, etc. wording.

But now one company has actually made a $h!t bag, not by ugliness necessarily, but by name.

It's actually called "Schitbag".

Would we classify the looks as $h!t? Not really. I like the straps OK, but I hate the pockets on the actual bag. Well the bag IS just pockets, like it's turned inside out.

So it's more like vomit. The vomit bag.

Excellent job!

Via The Cut, from Fashionista.

Now with More Scribbles! Lady GaGa takes Birkin Graffiti from "Statement" to Gibberish

May 10, 2010

Lady GaGa, with her plainer hair that makes her look more like Sarah Michelle Gellar than artsy performer or freakshow, graffitied some more Japanese (and perhaps other scribbles) on her infamous Hermès Birkin bag.

Message coming in loud and clear? No. More fuzzy and more "eff" you than "love you". And we don't like to receive that!

Were there any taste in her original "artwork" - a simplistic message, it's all trash now and it has us needing to stuff our mouths with cookies to get the poor taste out of our mouths. What will save our eyes? We're almost angry, but it's just GaGa. What she does to fashion is harmless, for although she has amazing influence over die-hard fans, she doesn't hold much crossover power to normal fashion or accessorizing. Will Posh follow suit? Over her deathly-thin body, we think! By the way, is it difficult to read, like we imagine it might be? Does anyone have a new translation? Photo: The Superficial [NSFW site]

The Kardashians' 2nd Skankwear Collection for Bebe (yesthat'swhatIsaid)

April 14, 2010

The Kardashians have introduced what is their 2nd collection for bebe, which is set to debut April 20th.

It's not that each item is individually really all that bad in the sluttiness department (or is it?), but I do see each item is meant to show off bods (whether curvy and thin or just thin) and I can picture Kim in each one. It leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

I'm talking about reminiscing over early 90's Mariah Carey (oh wait she still wears that stuff) skin tight/tube-fitting dresses.

Seriously, who wears dresses like the worst offender, pictured? (See more of the collection at Nitrolicious.) What message does it send?

"I cost $50 an hour" as a cheap prostitute, message. Not even a high class escort, just a questionable street walker.

You've been warned ... now I know you'll do whatever you want, anyway.

P.S. The shoes, they do not help.

Billboard to Stop those Pants on the Ground - My Slogan

April 08, 2010

[caption id="attachment_2859" align="alignnone" width="450" caption="FOUR BUTTS - TWO A$$ES*"][/caption]

They're no longer pants anymore, fellas! What are they? Ridiculousness. See those pockets? See how they look like butt cheeks? Well, that's because they're supposed to cover 'em.

These men have doubled the appearance of their butts. Something women know not to do, because at a certain point, it's far beyond bootyliciousness. It's frickin' 2 extra cheeks.

This is like underwear-as-outerwear of the least sexy kind.

Via The Cut/NYM - with the original image - and a quote of Russel Simmons (ex-husband of Kimmora Lee and founder of Phat Farm) defending those pants on the ground with his own ridiculousness.

*Like donkeys, in case I'm far less clear than I'd hope.

You Too Can Wear Tighty-Whities on Your Hands (Accessory Fug)

April 06, 2010

[caption id="attachment_2736" align="alignright" width="102" caption="Handerpants make me want to put my finger down my throat"]Handerpants[/caption]

When a man wears tighty-whities on his lower region (where they supposedly belong) women don't exactly want to get their hands on it - it being said lower region.

So what's up with this totally $h!t pair of gloves (for men or women) on Fred Flare?

Ewww! I just cannot. I cannot. I cannot. Cannot.

Even stand to look at them. Hence the tiny thumbnail here. If you want to throw away $16, you can buy these, because that's how much they cost and they're totally trash.

Metallics, Python & Tortoise? Oh My! Lanvin Clutch - Opinions...

March 25, 2010

This is certainly ... an interesting purse creation by Lanvin. I'm not sure if the silver and gold are too much together, especially combined with the python's texture, however when they threw on the tortoise closure that's when they really took it too far. Or at least IMHO...

[caption id="attachment_2637" align="alignnone" width="374" caption="Lanvin Degrade Clutch - pre-order"][/caption]

What do you think?

[polldaddy poll=2955678]

Anyway, if you like it, you can buy it at Luisa Via Roma for roughly $2.5 thou.

Ella's Picks for Oscars' Worst Dressed (2010) - Vote!

March 08, 2010

Fierce then the New Classic: Twirl Around

(like the Classic Scrolldown)

[caption id="attachment_2320" align="alignnone" width="290" caption="Zoe Saldana in Givenchy Couture"]Zoe Saldana in Givenchy Couture at 2010 Oscars[/caption]

In a way I think this could be "Best" but I'm torn. In my last post I compared Zoe's violet ruffles to beautiful flowers, but from the back they seem to be growing out of hand. And then the bottom of the train ... has ... 3 giant fuzzy fingers?

[caption id="attachment_2344" align="alignnone" width="290" caption="Wait! That looks like a giant Muppet hand ..."]worst-oscars-fashion-zoe-saldana-givenchy-couture[/caption]

oscars-fashion-worst-zoe-saldana-muppet-hand

Zoe Saldana's gown has even made it to our final "worst" poll at the end of the article...

Worst Supporting of An Actress

[caption id="attachment_2336" align="alignnone" width="290" caption="Charlize Theron in Dior Couture"]worst-oscars-fashion-charlize-theron-dior-couture[/caption] It's delightful, it's delovely, it's ... delicious, firm, supple and round? Oh I mean "they're". Well the dress thinks so! It's grown little fabric handlike things that are grabbing on. Well, ok, not exactly supple-looking, as the fabric is a bit tiered and, to me, is reminiscent of Madonna's cone bra. Others think the fabric semi-rosettes do look like hands... [caption id="attachment_2337" align="alignnone" width="450" caption="Cona bra + hands = Dior Couture"]oscars-fashion-worst-SplitScreen-charlize-theron-breasts[/caption] Charlize Theron has also made it to our poll!

Least Age-Appropriate Supporting of an Actress

[caption id="attachment_2334" align="alignnone" width="285" caption="Miley Cyrus in Jenny Packham"]oscars-fashion-worst-miley-cyrus-jenny-packham[/caption] [caption id="attachment_2335" align="alignnone" width="450" caption="Ha ha! Just kidding. Kind of."]oscars-fashion-worst-SplitScreen-miley-cyrus-lingerie[/caption] Never mind that Miley Cyrus generally looks 45 going on Collette Reardon. (The Dishrag agrees.) This dress's bodice is far too lingerie-inspired (like it could be a teddy) for Miley's still-illegal age. Also the random transitioning is not fab. So that added allows her to be in the poll.

Least Super Woman

[caption id="attachment_2338" align="alignnone" width="285" caption="Molly Ringwald"]oscars-fashion-worst-molly-ringwald[/caption] Molly Ringwald looks like a ginger Cleopatra or a super heroine of the tech age, who started spelling her email address with jewelry then remembered the "Coco rule" and removed everything but an "M" (for Molly) and the "@" symbol. You may vote for Molly below.

Worst Designing for an Awards Show

[caption id="attachment_2341" align="alignnone" width="290" caption="Barbra Streisand in Randolph Duke"]Barbra Streisand in Randolph Duke[/caption] We hear Randolph Duke custom made this especially for Barbra Streisand on this Oscars night, and we also hear that lace scarf was added by Babs from her own closet. So where's the designing? Where's the custom, exactly? At least we can't blame him for how wide open the star wore the jacket. We're glad when people wear blazers that fit when buttoned, but when the woman's waist isn't supermodel tiny, she shouldn't wear the coat that open. Even though she's not a typical red carpet diva, we're including the legendary Barbra in our poll.

Dishonorable Mention We Must Mention

[caption id="attachment_2346" align="alignnone" width="290" caption="Helen Mirren in Badgley Mischka"]oscars-fashion-worst-helen-mirren-badgley-mischka[/caption]
We won't penalize her too much here, but sleeved dresses are so 1980s!

Most In Need of a Fashion Lesson

[caption id="attachment_2342" align="alignnone" width="290" caption="Chris Innis, who won for best editing for The Hurt Locker"]Chris Innis, who won for best editing for The Hurt Locker[/caption] Forget 1980s, gloves, my poor innocent soul, are so The Young Victorian age! Or at least, with a gown. Otherwise they can be fabulous. I understand the confusion. We won't let people vote on you, that would be hurtful. And now it's voting time! Here are the final nominees. [polldaddy poll=2810334] Be sure to vote in our best dressed poll too! Oscar photos from TMZ, WWD and The Gaurdian.

Re the Famous Louis Vuitton Garbage Bag: Is Marc Jacobs "Trashing" Fashion Victims?

March 02, 2010

Right when this buzzworthy Louis Vuitton bag hit the 'net, I was scrambling to fit in coverage of the late Alexander McQueen and what of NY Fashion Week I could, so my usual dissing of bad design had to wait. And wait past my flu. But I love critiquing design and publishing fug fashion more than runway shows, so without further ado...

In probable social commentary, Marc Jacobs has finally "done it"? with a possible reply to the Chanel hobo that resembled a trash bag.

[caption id="attachment_2282" align="alignnone" width="450" caption="You too can wear a trash bag for only $1960!"]louis-vuitton-besace-hobos-garbage-bags[/caption]

Two thoughts:

  1. Is the worse part the tell-tale orange cinch-tie, or the "Louis Vuitton" wording for the logo-addicted?
  2. Buyer beware! We think this bag is an intended insult to those who'll carry anything with LVs - regardless of style. This "purse"  will signal any carrier as a fashion victim. Easily.

Unless you're an Olsen Twin. Ah, yes - it's so perfect for them, it might have been made for them to finally solidify their fashion status as hobos. We still think even they won't take that bait. ;-)

Editors vs. Bloggers: Ella Bitches Both Sides.

February 10, 2010

*Grammar update*
I'm updating this post because I've learned something that relates, and I'm sure this little part of the grammar world can be found in my article. (I'm too busy to read it all again.)
Apparently, what every English teacher I know informs of prepositions is incorrect. (If you don't want to read that page, I'll write the gist here: some prepositions can be used at the ends of sentences.)

I will now write with less difficulty and, even more happily, less awkwardness. 'Twas such an awkward rule, wasn't it?

[caption id="attachment_2072" align="alignnone" width="411" caption="The View from the Middle: We're All on Equal Ground Now"]tavi-bow-hat-view[/caption]

It isn't a popular position for a blogger herself to whine about (a) successful blogger(s), but at least that is only a small part of the upcoming several-fold rant. Well I'm not going to whine about success anyway, and I will only half bitch about the editors too. Everyone in the world is sometimes wrong and we've been reading so much of this cat fighting that I am itching to say just a few things.

First of all, everyone's mean! Sure it's safe to say that corporate-hired folks "started it". Example: AOL's Style List Katie Hintz-Zambrano pretty much accused famous 13 year old blogger, Tavi, of being no lady---whatever that means it does sound loaded. Yet then FashionIndie publisher antagonized all professionals for having expensive student loans yet small success. (Rant 2:) While attempting to argue against pros in this piece the blogger didn't exactly prove one doesn't need college with an article littered with terrible writing. See a large quote below as an example.

"Katie realize that fashion is a fickle little beast that is addicted to flavors of the week. The current flavor are over the top style bloggers like Tavi, Bryan Boy and Sea of Shoes, individuals with small readerships that manage to get attention cause they look odd* (or fabulous in the case of SeaGirl) and stand out in the streams of black, gray, and weathered that is the traditional garb of old school media types; you know, those overweight, fumpa bellied** folks who work at low readership publications like Paper Magazine and Village Voice who for years have taken over the front rows."

Yeah I've been holding in my opinions - for the most part - about successful so-called writers who are as literate as the average person but actually attempt to publish and, while successfully in their own rights by their own hands, do so with a lot of opinion but zero talent.

Why is paying college tuition as "out" as three-decade-old faded bell-bottoms? While I don't agree with the degree system, some education itself is priceless when it comes to things like grammar knowledge. Microsoft doesn't sell that in package with PCs and paying high-speed Internet bills doesn't grant us magic literary pills. Proper English is not something to disregard and learning it can not come easy. True that the average reader doesn't know better but professional writers and editors do and I am not surprised they're pissed that Jr. High-essay-level penners are so popular.

To me it's not Tavi and her front row that I think is the only upsetting thing to insiders - and I'm refreshed that at least with her I can't expect better writing than her age (although I think she far from writes worse than most adults). I, as someone who grasps the English language and is tormented by popular readership sites with authors who - to me - can't write to save their lives --- can't imagine that this is also not upsetting to those who earned their big desk jobs.

[caption id="attachment_2059" align="alignright" width="193" caption="~*If you like it then you shoulda put a belt on it*~"]~*If you like it then you shoulda put a belt on it*~[/caption]

*Third part of rant: Yeah, professionals, even fashion ones sometimes, are supposed to dress "professionally"; not "crazy", most of the time---unlike girls - or boys - playing dress-up in their bedrooms and taking that to the street. Fashion is diverse, often about couture, but to me it's a lot about flattery and not at all about a drapery, cheap or expensive label, that "fits" like a shapeless sheet. Where is the beauty in this outfit (right) - complete with hideous tights that appear to be mismatched knee socks? Oh yeah, I want to take fashion tips from that. (Not that I need any from anyone after years of Stacy and Clinton - all I need, babies.)

To add to the ugliness, I cannot hold it in, silver hair (or blue as some call it) on her makes her look 90 years old. It's not cute.

However that FashionIndie representative thinks it's "unthinkable" to diss Tavi's (still-rookie?) style (and shows the position with unintelligible wording).

"[Stylelist's Katie Hintz-Zambrano] also does the unthinkable by calling her style “warrant serious eye rolls”. Oh snap!!!"

I do like that, for some time, a fashionista blogger showing her own style can lead to a following - what better way is there? Sadly, I've been horribly camera shy for several years with the reason lending itself to a future article on self esteem, weight, accepting oneself, etc. (I plan to follow that by me attempting to keep up with occasional or frequent ensemble shots, even though I still cannot be cloned---I being the only photographer my perfectionist self trusts.)

**The epidemic of not only obesity but of less-endangered-weighted women feeling frightened to be seen by the world or even themselves is my rant #4. It took me a long time to realize I am not actually fat - in fact I look beautiful, sexy, curvy, have a waist etc... I'm just no thinner than average even if sometimes larger. With only that amount of extra size on me, I've been terrified to show myself - and even though I've recently gotten over that for the most part, my fear of the camera adding 20 lbs (yep 20) is always difficult to overcome.

So to those so called indie fashionistas who are still to this day so insulting of weight as to say "fumpa bellied" (whatever that is) - yes, I am outraged at you and cannot stop at just pointing out this wrong you have made.

Yet who am I to argue? Where do I come from? (How much is jealousy, as one could excuse?) I'd let my posts speak for themselves as that is clearly all I currently have to show (and many are now missing photos, html and categories after years of changes and moves). I don't think I even necessarily deserve grandeur at this point - I've made many individual business mistakes that leave me no wonder as to why I'm not more successful, so I'm not factoring my small position or using any bitterness in this reply. I'm human open to animal weakness but that is the truth. I've just seen such horrible lashing out that I'm compelled to put my 2 cents in, as my opinionista self just needs to do. I admire the simple beauty of bloggers making it by showing their style, and I'm hopeful that I can soon make this work for myself a bit - even though I usually go out looking mostly normal (except to male opinion) and if that holds a girl back, so what(?).

I don't even mind if there's bad writing by some fabulous or even crazy fashionista making it bigger through beautiful or quirky photos of their style and others'. One, the other, or both - it must be at least visual or literary, I say - and with both makes best. A fashion news or opinion site with apparent lack of even spell check, let alone proofreading, that lends to questioning what the writer's first language even is ---- also not cute, just like a sad sack.

Stop bashing the pros and editors you appear to not even aspire to struggle to equal in talent.

I'll leave you with this quote, from Tavi's own final word on the fight she partially inspires.

"The Bloggers vs. Editors! thing is tired. If there was a real competition, editors wouldn't be willing to give bloggers press. Blogs and magazines are good for different things; it's like comparing apples with oranges. Collaboration, not competition. Always!"

(And only one grammatical error.) I kind of like her brain, just not always the eye that creates some of her ensembles. ;-) You should read that article ... and/or more of my blog. ;-)

*Bitch Alert* Olsen Twins act more as Outfit Stylists than Designers for New Clothing Line

February 04, 2010

[caption id="attachment_2027" align="alignnone" width="450" caption="Mary-Kate & Ashley Olsen with "Olsenboye""]Mary-Kate & Ashley Olsen with "Olsenboye"[/caption]

I watched Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen debut "their" new clothing line, Olsenboye, on Good Morning America yesterday, underwhelmed and over-annoyed. The young adult twin stars proudly, although it was inexplicable pride, described the pairings of pieces sounding much more like dressup players or perhaps even wardrobe stylists, which is to be kind, as instead of showing true design (which can not be faked) they didn't even try when announcing clothes with phrases something like "we paired that with..." and "blazers are great". Seriously. Seriously? What?! ... If a blazer is great, buy one. *scoff*

That is not design. They cannot force whole outfits on people to get a unique look - girls (only some and not masses of true collection fans vs. Olsen fans) would buy individual pieces and these singular items are just so regular. They fall into the category of this word I've sort of invented and now love to use: undesigned, or they are ... undesigns.

Love in the City tee - OlsenboyeTo boot, what makes blazers so great to so many - the flattering waist-giving shape - is absent in the depicted floaty jacket.

Oh and, of course, a graphic tee with a phrase (not even a great, funny or terribly unique phrase) in a few fonts obviously does not a design make. DUH!

Stick to being fashion plates, girls. You like fashion, you like trends, but you really just like dressing yourselves. If you want to dress others, call yourselves what you are apparently attempting to be - stylists. However that is kind of a career step down, for even Rachel Zoe is making it much bigger by starring in her own TV show.

Oy.

Watch the full video clip while it's available via Hulu, below.

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About the Author

EllaElla M.
Classy, fabulous and even more.
Personality: Creative, caring
Trained in writing, Jill of trades
Lives: FL | Home: MA
...
I just wrote this whole new (long) "style bio" for myself & when I pressed save, well it did not. Bummed. For now, I'll keep it quick: Feminine, sophisticated, classy, couture-inspired Elements: Bows, ruffles, flowers... More later...

Also passionate about: relationships, dogs, techy stuff, grammar, politics & tv.

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