Stylish with Substance

Do not do it like Sienna did here and pair the leotard-or-whatever with pantyhose that have a different color near the crotch. That signals underwear, and not the cute kind. This is not Madonna-level under-outer-wear chic.

Perhaps we should leave this to the diva, Gaga, no?

There was technically a high-profile, and large in a sense, fashion event near my home area just this Saturday. The fashion was swimwear, although technically strictly bikinis.

Cosmopolitan Magazine held their Bikini Bash 2009 on Miami FL's South Beach, which was the largest bikini photoshoot ever regarding the number of models. But the models were just about anyone willing to show up and show off in a bikini. I would not be one, of course, because I don't have the fitting body. Would a girl with actual meat on her bones even be truly welcome? This doesn't seem to me to have been a self-esteem event.

photo from 2008's photoshoot event

Actually, it seems more like utilizing free workers to exploit and then promote as a "sexy" event, even though these are private citizen women. Who would want this? A few, and that's just fine, but what about those who participated unknowning they'd be advertising for Cosmo using sex? They're called "fun fearless women" but what do skinny chicks have to fear? I don't see larger women, and is it fair to call us afraid if we don't attend?

Regarding the exploitation of their figures, here's a quote from cosmobikinipics.com,

"To get a high-quality version of your hotness to share with friends on your Facebook or MySpace page (and make them jealous they missed it!), just click on the thumbnail of your pic."

That seems a little on the tarty "disqualify-from-American-Idol" side, but mostly I don't like Cosmo using these girls like that.

Not only is it swimsuits, but it had to be bikinis, and it was on South Beach, yeah the only beach with its own diet. It seems the mag's now trying to promote skinniness.

For full disclosure's sake, this has little to do with the fact that it didn't seem to be an open invite to participate in a fun event like say as a journalist (moi) but only as a model, or just well, pieces of meat. Ella don't play that, and even if I could, it would seem so wrong.

All that matters to me is that my boyfriend loves me exactly as I am, wearing anything or nothing, with no cameras or Internet/magazine props ... and I get to eat ice cream.

If you have interest in this event or seeing pics; you can visit the link above or cosmopolitan.com and if you're interested in reading the issue featuring the shoot, it's in August's edition.

This *costume* has a serious case of identity crisis.

To quote the title of this monstrosity, "Complete Bearded Oysters Costume for Big Boobie-d Dancers".

Ella thinks it need be a lot less complete.

Oh, but that's not all -- apparently it's a thing. Like some inside clique-y thing. And there are coordinating panties. With pubic hair. On the panties. (And how a mannequin gets camel toe is an odd thing, but it's there, too.)

I feel bad every time I must (must) make fun of something handmade. Apologies to craftsperson, Miss Katrina. (As seen on Etsy.)

Note; this is in good fun, and I know this costume serves a special purpose to the designer and others, and hopefully this post will bring useful exposure.

Israeli model Bar Refaeli holds the 2009 cover of Sports Illustrated (SI) swimsuit issue,
as she unveils SI One, a Southwest Airlines Boeing 737-700 SI...

 

Swimsuit supermodel, Bar Refaeli, may be a super hottie, gracing this year's cover of Sports Illustrated's Swimsuit issue, itself - but in my book she is a definite nottie with this move. I mean come on, is she really flying so high as to get a jet plane designed in her image? Is she a goddess or something? What's the deal?

It's so disgusting. And I hope there are no geese who are attracted to women or ... we could have more accidents.

Yes, it's all distasteful.

 

We had a DO do and now we have a don't give (just late enough to ensure you won't, and if a guy reading somehow did, go get a designer bag or something instead. To the mall! - STAT! ;-) )

 

What is this definite don't? A collection of light-up bras from Enlighted ... which we think are only for the neanderthal men and legally/nearly blind who might need a little help. OK probably not even then.

 

Guys, if you get your girl something this tacky, well, you won't be seeing her underthings or what's under those things ... maybe for a while. Sorry to say. Also, men, if you want to get your lady some lingerie, keep it classy, or perhaps get her a hefty Vickie's gift card tucked in her greeting card (along with other gift) and/or a shopping spree. Make this something she's sure to truly want herself, and if you spend a lot, she'll be more gracious.

No, it's not that you need to dish out tons of dough along with the sweet, but it'll help you avoid looking like 100% horndog if there's more in it for her. Women love sex, but to us, this is about the L word. (And not a lesbian joining you.) We want sex almost as much as you on Valentine's, but we'll love you better if you do the same first!

Valentine's Day can be something both sexes can enjoy and agree upon. Men just need to give in a little or a lot and maybe, just maybe, the part of the night you actually enjoy will have something you've dreamed of ... after she's gotten hers. (In both ways.)

Oh and to magpie girls , you don't need this bra, your guy's already looking. ;-)

If we could only have a little paper version of Carrie Bradshaw to dress in printed apparel, but the 2-dimensional kind. A true version of a screen doll, Ms. Bradshaw -- meet your once-and-future (Mr. Big) lover's lover, this lingerie in full Bradshaw couture style.

Although the gal about the city usually wore casual bras and even boy-style briefs, perhaps on her honeymoon in last year's movie, this babydoll would have been perfection. Or pure poetry? And it's not technically couture at all, even though it's flowing with that level of style (for lingerie especially) -- No, it's from Victoria's Secret; and sells for$88 , not cheap, but good for so chic.

Whether you're the fashionista or perhaps the bride to a fellow bride (with its tuxedo vibe), could you be saying hello to your perfect lover-wear?

If you both wish your jeans were as comfortable as long underwear and you're as skinny as a stick (especially if you're newly so) boy do I have the dream item for you: Jean-printed stretch leggings.

No, they're not denim. They're not even skinny jeans. They're ... better? No but they take the trend further. They're as tight as tight can be.

I wonder what jean-look camel toe looks like? Yeah, I'd opt for a wrap around the waist, kind of the reverse of the denim mini over leggings - you know, the right look for this trend.

Also note the store selling them, TopShop, doesn't display on model. Um .. l.o.l.??

Le Sigh.

Thanks, Fashion Police.

Are we wrong? What do you think?

I'm back from a mind's vaction with some butt fashion! W00t!

Of course it comes from the tamer and more mental-tittilating punny Victoria's Secret (Pink University, etc.), but this new pink plaid babydoll and matching ruffley panties totally fire up my mind, not just eyes (or shopping gene).

Ruffle Satin Babydoll

But um, a couple notes..

1. It appears the catty catwalk pouts have gone mainstream lingerie modeling. Not cute. To me, pouting is more for appealing to guys' sympathies and making them do what I want, however does not say, "come here to me (in my bed)". (I also don't scowl like a true bitch---what's up with that?!)

2. Yes, the back of the babydoll is tapered to show off the behind - cute! But this brings me to the ordering/wish-listing step and reminds me.... In my college days, I was as bootylicious as Kim Kardashian, which - if you're keeping score - is phattier than even J.Lo. However, I've lost weight, and even firmed up down, err back, there - but kept the oomph from weight gain / growing-up-hormones on top -- and now I'm worried my top size overpowers my bottom. Uh, what happened to the mix and match age, huh? (Anyone out there want a(n) XS top and S panties??) One thing's at least for sure, a mall trip with a changing room is on my schedule!

Which if it weren't for my upcoming birthday would be a sad field trip, for my bank account still thinks I'm a poor college student. Darn political science!

"All those old skanks in these tabloids all wear bikinis. Don't you want to be different? Don't you want to look more fabulous and glamorous? Aren't you sick of the bikini?" - Simon Doonan

I couldn't agree more, and yet I couldn't pinpoint it before this bold, genius gay said it in this perfect way.

I still wonder what will be in next year, which will likely mark my return to bikini-ready-dom. (My decision on what to wear vs. trends or personal style combined with how often I go to the beach merely to show off, when I hate the beach, should say a lot about me, no? Who cares - fun fun it will be.)

So what about you, if you've got it to flaunt, is the one-piece good enough still?