Stylish with Substance

The surprising fact about shoes and foot health (and posture) is that the flattest of flat shoes is actually unhealthy, relatively, for the feet. Best is a quarter to a half an inch of a lift on the back of a flat, kind of like a kitten wedge, we suppose. Here are some shopping picks that fit the bill...

10. The New "Docs" by Pucci... Pucci???

These markedly colorless patent pump versions of those Doc Martins so loved in the 90s - designer "style", designer price. It's just wrong.

9. Is there something on my shoe?! by Miu Miu

This almost deinty pump could have been cute. With its unique shaping and tie ... but then there's a HUGE BUG on the toe. Scary. Dragonfly or not, it's a don't.

8. Does my rear look big ... and flabby? By Prada

The heel so overgrew the rest of this shoe that it even turned into a waving mass of what looks like fatty flab. Unattractive.

7. I Beg You to Fuck Me Boots ... by Chanel

Such unclass from Chanel, what gives? These flashy silver glittering and just odd boots by Chanel scream such trash, that their thigh high quality boots make them more "fuck me please, I'm desperate" boots than anything resembling sexy. Warning: you will get no action in these boots. (You won't even get anyone wanting you to take them off unless to replace with something else.)

6. The Interior Designer Heel by Miu Miu

The heel on these platform pumps looks more like a chair rail or crown molding than apparel. To whom is Miu Miu hiring out for contract(or) design?

5. Open for Busy-ness by Balenciaga

What is there to say about this boot? This toeless, backless boot with front lacing and black & white leather piece detailing? What? A picture says a thousand words.

4. The Hairy Legs Trend ... as seen by Gucci

This type of shoe was done a lot way too much in 2008. Thank goodness 2008 is over, even if the same winter is not. Let fringe go back to the fringe, if you know what I mean.

3. The Flower Heel by Prada

And I love the way the model was dressed to look like a homeless person BY a blind person. So earthy and fair?

2. It's a fish! It's a dinosaur! It's ... Prada.

This shoe looks like it belongs in a zoo. Yes, a zoo fit for the season, what with fish and dinosaurs and humans and all. See more de-evolutions in the gallery.

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1. "The Toppler" by Louis Vuitton

Marc Jacobs just really wants women to fall flat on their faces doesn't he? This shoe comes in many forms, like the fug loafer pictured. All complete with partial-platform plus high heel meaning lots of fall-over action. So the worst shoe of 2008 is of course the most dangerous. Congratulations, LV!

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View a gallery with extra photos of more of the list-topping worsts!

Independent shoe designer, Annejet Kosters, sure has unique vision for a designer. Blind.

Her bio (translated below) makes no mention that her toeless boot/high heel creations are actually healthy in any means for the feet, she seemingly just likes the look - or hopes to capitalize on what is astoundingly both unique and a trend right now. Yes, in winter we truly see "toeless" shoes. What?!

Surely harmful to both the toes and balls of the feet with bunions and cuts ... and to foot phobes, like I, are her toeless bootie and dominatrix boot designs. (Pictured below, respectively.)

People, these aren't peep-toed booties (as is the actual trend, my friends) - no, there's no footbed below the balls. Can the women say, "ow! my balls!" for once!

Warning: Slightly Not Safe for Foot Phobes!

 

 

[caption id="attachment_4" align="aligncenter" width="303" caption="Annejet Kosters Toeless Booties Design, modeled"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_5" align="aligncenter" width="303" caption="Her dominatrix-styled lace-up boots with curved heel - comfy!"][/caption]

Those dom boots look more masochistic, really, notice the talon to the foot?!

Care to read about this torture fashion designer?

In 2004 I graduated from the High School for the Arts Utrecht in the discipline 3D-Design. In addition to this study, I have the 3-year training Craft Shoe Making followed in Nieuwegein.

 

The first year I worked as a freelancer and took part in various projects and children's collections.  In 2005 I was employed as a stylist at a lady's shoes brand.

Until 2008, I have been employed for two very different companies. Designing women's and children's collections was at the heart of my tasks. Identify new trends, the prognosis image visualization, collection them, materialize, coloring and communication with and visits to sample rooms and suppliers in Italy, India, China and Taiwan were aspects of my work in this period.

In 2008 I started as an independent designer and working on a freelance basis for multiple clients. By different companies with their own vision and style to know and learn, my work is challenging style and my design diverse. As the ideal start for building a collection target I go to a creative match with my clients.

That's not all, though, "big designers" are in on the act, as well. Here are two styles (note the full footbed, however) from Maison Martin Margiela on eLuxury.

 

Now honestly when the thought is styled properly, like with thick criss-cross straps, making the shoe appear more sandal-like than running-ape-wild-like, looks, well, pretty cute! But the first pair, a F*(k me boot with no toes? Is there anything tackier you can think of right now, if your mind still works after this, that is?

 

Afraid for future trends? You may or may not want to view the full first ensemble pic on Kiss Me Stace.

 

Stay tuned for more from the indie designer and what you might want to invest your $$$ in instead!

 

*Via* Shoe Blitz and Kiss Me Stace