Stylish with Substance

It'll only cost you $50,000 to prevent your wife from using her account at zappos.com. It'll also cost you that same $50,000 to jump start your divorce. Oh but you'll also get this snazzy tee.

Puh-lease.

Buy this rare collector's t-shirt and we'll make sure your significant other never shops at Zappos.com again! When you purchase this limited edition t-shirt, we will permanently disable your significant other's Zappos.com account for the rest of his/her life.

But read the fine print:

Disclaimer 1: Zappos.com, Inc. is not responsible or liable if your significant other creates or uses another account using a different email address. It is your responsibility to monitor how many email accounts your significant other creates or uses.

Worried women, you may simply open another account with a new e-mail address or shop hassle-free if you divorce your husband. (And wouldn't the idiotic bastard deserve it?)

Our 365-day return policy is valid only if you are permanently divorced or separated within 365 days.

Men: it wouldn't be worth it, she'd probably divorce you for all you've got and start spending your old money on Neiman Marcus instead. I partly kid, I partly kid.

And so does Zappos, the sillies.

*Via Shoe Blog*

Now I love that kitschy, stitchy handmade look, really. But that charming love doesn't come through with these just by-the/for-the lazy looking "house shoes" by FurParade. Who would wear these? Judging by those toes, maybe a Who (like from Dr. Seuess.) These are women's "size medium" but seem to be for men who think Crocs are too hip. "Love" the scratchy yarn? tie for added fug detail. They make these house boots seem like little sacks for the trunks of Christmas trees. Like those, this design idea should have gone out with the trash.

Sorry handcrafter, you can't always win. And we can't always be nice.

Also check out the non-boot version; suitable for giants. Ho hum is more than right!

10. The New "Docs" by Pucci... Pucci???

These markedly colorless patent pump versions of those Doc Martins so loved in the 90s - designer "style", designer price. It's just wrong.

9. Is there something on my shoe?! by Miu Miu

This almost deinty pump could have been cute. With its unique shaping and tie ... but then there's a HUGE BUG on the toe. Scary. Dragonfly or not, it's a don't.

8. Does my rear look big ... and flabby? By Prada

The heel so overgrew the rest of this shoe that it even turned into a waving mass of what looks like fatty flab. Unattractive.

7. I Beg You to Fuck Me Boots ... by Chanel

Such unclass from Chanel, what gives? These flashy silver glittering and just odd boots by Chanel scream such trash, that their thigh high quality boots make them more "fuck me please, I'm desperate" boots than anything resembling sexy. Warning: you will get no action in these boots. (You won't even get anyone wanting you to take them off unless to replace with something else.)

6. The Interior Designer Heel by Miu Miu

The heel on these platform pumps looks more like a chair rail or crown molding than apparel. To whom is Miu Miu hiring out for contract(or) design?

5. Open for Busy-ness by Balenciaga

What is there to say about this boot? This toeless, backless boot with front lacing and black & white leather piece detailing? What? A picture says a thousand words.

4. The Hairy Legs Trend ... as seen by Gucci

This type of shoe was done a lot way too much in 2008. Thank goodness 2008 is over, even if the same winter is not. Let fringe go back to the fringe, if you know what I mean.

3. The Flower Heel by Prada

And I love the way the model was dressed to look like a homeless person BY a blind person. So earthy and fair?

2. It's a fish! It's a dinosaur! It's ... Prada.

This shoe looks like it belongs in a zoo. Yes, a zoo fit for the season, what with fish and dinosaurs and humans and all. See more de-evolutions in the gallery.

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1. "The Toppler" by Louis Vuitton

Marc Jacobs just really wants women to fall flat on their faces doesn't he? This shoe comes in many forms, like the fug loafer pictured. All complete with partial-platform plus high heel meaning lots of fall-over action. So the worst shoe of 2008 is of course the most dangerous. Congratulations, LV!

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View a gallery with extra photos of more of the list-topping worsts!