Stylish with Substance

Everybody AND her MOM are becoming designers. No really...

Ella M — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 12:59:05 EDT

This is not a renewal of the old joke, although it's only partially true. You know it's more fright than funny, partly because some famous new designers don't even design. It seems every singer, or not, wants to be a designer. And then famous non-singers think they can sing. Why does everyone whose name is up in lights think they can design?

Fashion bloggers, too, are crafters, entrepreneurs and even designers. But we work hard to forge our own ways, usually sewing to boot. This is what Ella is doing, but I won't talk too much about my line that's merely upcoming. ;-)

Back to those spoiled celebs...

A while ago Lindsay Lohan debuted her leggings collection, under her own label, and recently started collaborating with another. Now her mom, Dina Lohan, has previewed her shoe collection. It's named after their famous surname in an oh-so mindless, embarrassing take on a pun, "Shoe-Han".

And you guessed it, Dina won't be designing, only having some part in the creative direction. Oh boy...

The name just makes me think of more puns relating to the slang term, "ho". It can be combined with so many other words that would suit Dina. In a way it makes talking about, if not wearing, "her" shoes oh so versatile.

Now for that peep-toe boot that wonderful role model tried on for the cameras - it's no more stylish than a cast.

You'll be sure not to purchase a pair for your own mommy dearest this Spring, when the line debuts around Mother's Day.

Shoes like Feet, So like Fug

Ella M — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 10:25:59 EDT

The Five Fingers shoe by Vibram fits a foot like a glove ... but of course with a ground-intended sole. These things are worse than those 1990's toe socks. Check out that even the soles are contoured to a foot. The footwear is likely comfortable, but how could anyone feel confident in public in a pair?

Somehow this unique "fashion" even won an award back in 2007, but they're beyond the women of the world. In a beneath us kind of way. ;-)

Shoo Your Girl From Zappos, or just from YOU

Ella M — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 11:22:31 EST

It'll only cost you $50,000 to prevent your wife from using her account at zappos.com. It'll also cost you that same $50,000 to jump start your divorce. Oh but you'll also get this snazzy tee.

Puh-lease.

Buy this rare collector's t-shirt and we'll make sure your significant other never shops at Zappos.com again! When you purchase this limited edition t-shirt, we will permanently disable your significant other's Zappos.com account for the rest of his/her life.

But read the fine print:

Disclaimer 1: Zappos.com, Inc. is not responsible or liable if your significant other creates or uses another account using a different email address. It is your responsibility to monitor how many email accounts your significant other creates or uses.

Worried women, you may simply open another account with a new e-mail address or shop hassle-free if you divorce your husband. (And wouldn't the idiotic bastard deserve it?)

Our 365-day return policy is valid only if you are permanently divorced or separated within 365 days.

Men: it wouldn't be worth it, she'd probably divorce you for all you've got and start spending your old money on Neiman Marcus instead. I partly kid, I partly kid.

And so does Zappos, the sillies.

*Via Shoe Blog*

True Crimes of Fashion: Toeless Horrors

Ella M — Thu, 01 Jan 2009 11:00:49 EST

Independent shoe designer, Annejet Kosters, sure has unique vision for a designer. Blind.

Her bio (translated below) makes no mention that her toeless boot/high heel creations are actually healthy in any means for the feet, she seemingly just likes the look - or hopes to capitalize on what is astoundingly both unique and a trend right now. Yes, in winter we truly see "toeless" shoes. What?!

Surely harmful to both the toes and balls of the feet with bunions and cuts ... and to foot phobes, like I, are her toeless bootie and dominatrix boot designs. (Pictured below, respectively.)

People, these aren't peep-toed booties (as is the actual trend, my friends) - no, there's no footbed below the balls. Can the women say, "ow! my balls!" for once!

Warning: Slightly Not Safe for Foot Phobes!

[caption id="attachment_4" align="aligncenter" width="303" caption="Annejet Kosters Toeless Booties Design, modeled"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_5" align="aligncenter" width="303" caption="Her dominatrix-styled lace-up boots with curved heel - comfy!"][/caption]

Those dom boots look more masochistic, really, notice the talon to the foot?!

Care to read about this torture fashion designer?

In 2004 I graduated from the High School for the Arts Utrecht in the discipline 3D-Design. In addition to this study, I have the 3-year training Craft Shoe Making followed in Nieuwegein.

The first year I worked as a freelancer and took part in various projects and children's collections. In 2005 I was employed as a stylist at a lady's shoes brand.

Until 2008, I have been employed for two very different companies. Designing women's and children's collections was at the heart of my tasks. Identify new trends, the prognosis image visualization, collection them, materialize, coloring and communication with and visits to sample rooms and suppliers in Italy, India, China and Taiwan were aspects of my work in this period.

In 2008 I started as an independent designer and working on a freelance basis for multiple clients. By different companies with their own vision and style to know and learn, my work is challenging style and my design diverse. As the ideal start for building a collection target I go to a creative match with my clients.

That's not all, though, "big designers" are in on the act, as well. Here are two styles (note the full footbed, however) from Maison Martin Margiela on eLuxury.

Now honestly when the thought is styled properly, like with thick criss-cross straps, making the shoe appear more sandal-like than running-ape-wild-like, looks, well, pretty cute! But the first pair, a F*(k me boot with no toes? Is there anything tackier you can think of right now, if your mind still works after this, that is?

Afraid for future trends? You may or may not want to view the full first ensemble pic on Kiss Me Stace.

Stay tuned for more from the indie designer and what you might want to invest your $$$ in instead!

*Via* Shoe Blitz and Kiss Me Stace

Yes, you too can have that Unshaven Legs look!

Ella M — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 15:52:24 EDT

It's a sandal! It's a boot! It's .. sasquatch? How these shoes by Etro don't get less praise and more jabs than Uggs is beyond me. I didn't pay them much mind until I read recent reports saying these ... yes, these hair-like fringy tall shoes, are the IT shoe of Spring 2008.

Ummmm at least they conceal those missed patches??

The Root of All Evil - Hannah Montana or Crocs?

Ella M — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 02:50:43 EDT

Lewis Black and his gang won't need to debate on this issue, because the two crusaders of the dark side have teamed up to make this shoe:

Croc Mary Janes (in purple here) with Hannah's name on the foot strap and her likeness on the heel strap. Complete with holes, this is the brainless child of Satan and his young mistress.

Of course, how bad the Crocs' guilt goes lies within the question: are Crocs okay on Kids? But that Miley Cyrus is certainly dastardly in her world domination (and demon-ination). It's she I stand less!

What about you?

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It's a flat! It's a thong! It's ... well, NOT super.

Ella M — Sat, 12 Apr 2008 15:22:02 EDT

DesignerElla says,

ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

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