Stylish with Substance

I didn't create this blog title thinking it only reflects moi. I believe the name describes every normal woman who loves fashion. Loving style does not subtract from our substance!

The problem is some think it does. I'd rather not even face that, but I see now it's true. Not just from my life, but from Internet trends you likely know of.

Grechen from Grechen Blogs, etc. just wrote about this, among many others on the related topics of fashionista bashing.

"(People think) if you love fashion, you’re stupid & frivolous…blah blah blah. ...  The world is made up of 2 types of people: those who love fashion and those who don’t. and those who don’t really really really don’t understand those who do."

Oh boy do I know the second half of that quote is true! But I don't understand it. I see fashion as a part of femininity, and let me tell those people: I don't understand a woman (straight or bi, let's say) who doesn't like fashion! So there.

I just wanted to let visitors know that I'm not showing a superior attitude with the blog name, I'm including my readers, most definitely, as well.

By the way, I have an important website note for readers! I will (finally) be changing the Feedburner URL. It will probably become is feeds.feedburner.com/stylishwithsubstance, but I'll update here as to whether or not the change was successful (name available with them). You must resubscribe after the change!

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Do periods gross you out? Sure, they do. Are you a woman and you still find them intolerable? Duh. They're even worse for women than for those wimpy men! But as young adult females, we must endure them.

But do we not talk about them, even as we all go through them? Why does it seem to me that women opt out of the therepeutic benefits of commisserating over our monthly curses?

If a lady's husband brings home flowers and she posts this as her status on Facebook, there's rejoice over his sweet sentiment through likes and comments. Then there's the man who does the wonderful thing of bringing home the Midol (it happend for me, swoon) ... crickets (I bet*). At least if my hypothosis is correct, this will continue to prove the case. Crickets, including rhetorical silence (it is through type) from women.

*I waited for myself to be proved wrong, and okay, I have a wonderfully close family and I can often count on them for support through likes and comments. Whew! I do feel loved after all. Buy why is there continuing to be less comparitive support over something every single woman can relate to? Less support than for Facebook game chit-chat, sport cheers, whatever.

I still get the sense that most people, including women, just sort of ignore the big P in another "P"; public.

And then there I am. On Twitter even. Many cycles, I find myself making it clear, like clockwork, that, well, I'm a raging hormone of PMS.

And that's OK. I know I'm better writing for a female audience.

Though I wonder, am I alienating, or including? Do please prove my fears wrong!

I invite a change in attitude. Just like you want your boyfriend to buy tampons (I've heard tale it happening!) and not freak out like a whiny child over, dun dun dun, blood (as long as it's not in the theatre, of course), I want to b!tch about menstrual cycles. All because I'm not currently cintrubing to overpopulation. Sheesh! What gratitude, mother nature. You ladies read me?!

Bonus: Guess what I blogged about one month ago? Yup. Chocolate.

PopSugar has started their own brand new Facebook game, and it's for shopping/clothing. (Why not FabSugar then? Anyway....)

In the game, called "Retail Therapy", the player owns her own boutique and buys/sells fashions. One also makes an avatar after him or herself, like usual, but this time we get to download ours for display on the web, etc. That's me (or the Amazonian-me with washboard abs) to the right!

If you'd like to check it out and play, I want to first give you tips so you don't make the same mistakes I already made as a newbie. I always mess up the beginnings of my FB gaming, somehow. But now you will have a head start!

• It's built for a strategy just like those Facebook restaurant games. So you'll want to place your "storage" containers (where the inventory comes in) near the clothing tables/racks as well as near the register (as seen in the screen capture below). Otherwise in the beginning of the game, when it's just "you" working, some customers could get too impatient to purchase, or perhaps you'd just dilly-dally too much to bring in inventory fast enough.

• When one gets to level 5, he or she is allowed to hire one friend as an employee, which would help greatly. The one problem is you'll need to hire your real friends who are neighbors/players. I suggest inviting your female or fashionista friends early, and while you're at that, you may friend me (then invite me). Just please note that you're from my blog or Retail Therapy.
• Don't start playing right before bedtime, because it's quite difficult to earn enough coins to afford an 8 hour shipment. It's very different from other games, in which, for those, it's easy to build enough coins to afford all the *contracts-to-the-factories* etc. The more one orders (and the longer the order takes) the higher markup, or the more money one makes. Again, you'll need a lot of coins to afford three eight hour shipments.
• In later levels, one is allowed to purchase changing rooms, which will slow down customers between entering the store and getting in line to buy (but it will not make them more patient once waiting).
• The better a boutique is selling", the more customers will come in. In the beginning do not add too many tables and racks. I say 3, 4 max (with at least one rack if selling skirts) because even with this number, one's store will sell out before it can stock. I haven't yet (in my day of playing) found the secret to keeping stocked.
• Like I wrote, skirts require a rack, for some reason they cannot be on a table. Sensically, bags and shoes need tables or shelves.

If you have your own tips, please comment!

Now that you're sufficiently schooled, go ahead and try the Retail Therapy game!

Most of the middle and lower classes are going through tough financial times. I'm no different, and my blogging is especially no different.

What's worse is I've been as depressed as any unumployed person who feels no purpose. I've even been a bit worse than "woe is me" (Woe am I* ), practically wanting to sing out, "Nobody likes me (my blog), I (my blog) should go eat worms". Yes, just like a depressive tween. And I know I'm occasionally bumming my loved ones out. (Sorry, I hope you're reading!)

Thing is I'm no businesswoman. I have many talents, but CEO-ing is far from one of them.

Since I've been fashion blogging, I've disliked the domains I was using. Since I moved nearly the whole enchilada to pursedlips.net I've had the feeling that the assumption this was still a bag blog (and it does make sense, I know) was killing me/us.

We're broke, like I said. It can't get any worse (well, much worse, but I can be negative lately), so it can't hurt to try a revamp to refocus on what I've always been good at here, or mostly back at Kiss Me Stace. Writing about style "but" from my brain. (Sure, when that site started, it was fluff, but I didn't say the beginnign was good, anyway.) One part of the problem has been a definite lack of feeling focused on this site, partially due to an unfocused site name, even though I also wanted room to breathe and grow/change.

I have a solution. And so what if it sets the hits back? The cash is set back anyway, and hopefully a focused first impression will actually help retain real readers - which is what I want much more than hit numbers.

New domain: www. stylish with substance .com - is coming.

(New Facebook Page - please "like" us or re-like us there!)

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The technical details here on OnSugar blogging is kind of tough-fangled for me. So you might be reading this while things are not working properly or before the change has really begun. But it's coming.

And come back. Or stay. And come back again. I'm going to try to make this easy on readers.

And then I'm done with changes, but not with blogging. I think I'll be much happier typing away now. Phew!

I do feel good about this, and here are some reasons:

• The content has always matched this name. And my resessionista-ism of late has really put me into more of a substance (of many kinds) over quantity-of-clothes position, anyway.

• Plus, the use of the word "style" in the writing world is well-known to me. The punnage is not lost on me, it makes me giddy! I am quite stylish, or, grammatical. ;-)

• Besides, this is a name I can really take home to my (future) mother (in law). I know she'll like this better than purses. OK somewhat better. Those ladies are always tough to please.
• *Updated* It can make readers happy, too.

___

*Links to Amazon associate link of the Grammar book, Woe Is I. [Clearly I believe the title is erroneous])

Mainstream fashion journalists have held beef against the blogosphere for some time now. What I didn't know is that I may have predicted this in 2006.

I just found an old article (written in December of 2005 actually, but published January 1st, 2006) with this quote, "... the lines of fashion could be blurred as such that the next issue could be a fight between different sides of fashion and its media".

The article, titled "Fashion is the New Pink", explored how far fashion had come by the mid of the last decade.

"Editors on Bloggers" April, 2010

... more

I don't know how proud I should feel about my little bit of foresight. Heck, I don't even remember quite what I had in mind at the time of writing this article. However it does make me smile, and that counts for something.

What counts even more, I think, is that this piece was basically a big warning of the then-impending major recession we're still fighting in the new decade. As I signed off, "overdoing it is the new black", I summed up American's erroneous ways.

Bonus: the entry quotes and links to a lot of blogging friends. Overall, it may be a fun read as either new to you or forgotten ... I hope a gem.

To not let Fashion define me, but to make my personal style show off my personal definitions. I will be well-rounded and above all, loveable.

Some new people in my life don't love the moi that is "Ella Mode", etc. That is a big part of me, but it is not me. Sure, these people should go shut up and mind their own businesses, but whatever their issues, these people are now permanant in my life. They can't see beyond this pretty (I say) part of me because they cannot understand this type of woman.

No apologies from me! I am a normal woman. I'm not the one with the problem.

However there are parts of me that I do want to bring as much to the forefront as my love for style, like my love for animals. Truthfully, the "Ella Mode" in me causes a few issues here and there in my romantic relationship, so I know I can't let my life revolve around these obsessions and addictions - the addiction is harmful to me personally and potentially both of us financially.

Even though right now, Geek Chic moi is sort of obsessed with simulation city games, but I've set it up to be a cheap hobby. One that takes focus from thinking about shopping, and gives me back some pleasure and reward I lack from not shopping. (You know human psychology and shopping!!!) I'm not even counting down the days 'til my next paycheck and I have my playing time spent in check too!

This is one of my interests change phases, just like my personal style goes through slight changes every few months. I'm trying to think of dressing less fancy sometimes, less designer or less... Hmmm. Arm crook handbag, all fabulista kind of thang? Yeah. I have a new classic COACH crossbody with vintage sensibilities, and I love that it looks laid back but does not shy from its COACH quality. (Oh and by the way, it was a $35 find at an antique mall - even though not vintage, what a score.)

I won't be someone who will swear off expensive bags, and I won't be someone who buys pleather handbags. Never should one apologize for hating on the pleather!! Fake-leather purses fall apart so fast, whereas the shoes seem to last just fine. Leather shoes are better and healthier for feet, but budget will dictate. And a girl, this girl?, needs more new shoes than new bags. Still, there's a moretorium on spending, especially with clothes, not so much with home goods and beauty supplies.

Now as for the shoes I will wear; I love heels.  They make me happy. No apologies here, why should there be? These are my feet, no one else's. And I take care of my feet. All shoes will have arch supports and Foot Petals. Some people just can't understand how comfortable heels can be made to feel!

Still I wear them too much in unsuitable places because I don't live a "heels" lifestyle. I vow to not wear heels to the grocery store or any long shopping trips, but I love all my cute shoes and need to use 'em. That said, I also vow to try to focus on slightly more sensible, chic sandals this summer. Mostly one go-to pair that is the best mix of chic with wearability.

Still, as usual. No sweats to the grocery store, etc. Don't worry, I could never be too casual a girl. Jeans and a basic tee? On my man, not me, give me a belt and some pizazz - but when I get home it's pajama time. There's even a song for it, but I digress. I always have "outfits" just like Carrie Bradshaw. However, when I'm sick enough, sweats to the drugstore, all the way - but only there and back. Don't like it? Someday, if I'm rich enough, it'll be "Armani" sweats or at least Juicy Couture. Do you like that better? I don't care, I'll be fluish, anyway!!

Bottom line, I will be me. Not a label. Not a slave. Not an image. Not someone else's idea of a woman, wife, etc. A complicated, imperfect, lovely person who always looks good, and never looks as fat as she really is naked, although I love myself naked too, and often looks a little bit taller than the height chart reads - just a little bit - because I love what I am.

So there. I just keep this vow to myself quietly and to the blog. To always be not only the girly-girl (last time I checked I am female, why not be girly) but the guy's girl I am to only those who know me best. I think love lasts healthier this way. Just watch 1990's Troop Beverly Hills for an example. There, you have fun homework. Now if you want to, you might be inspired to work on some aspect of yourself - but most importantly, live an "I'm not sorry" life!